What started out as a scholarship essay...

Its still raining. 

Which means that I am in the mood to curl up on a corner of my bed with a cup of tea and write. And because I'm planning on going to college next year, the obvious choice of writing is scholarships. Sadly, my scholarship essay turned into some sort of journal summary-type thing. So I don't really know what this is. Maybe I can use it for another scholarship sometime (I do love to recycle). Maybe it can just chill here in the depths of cyberspace until I'm 83 and want to remember "life as a young'un". But it is what it is, so here goes:

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My name is Valerie, and I am writing this application sitting on a squeaky bed (for lack of a desk) in the rainy city of Otavalo, Ecuador.

“How did you get to be here?” is the obvious question, and indeed I sometimes ask it of myself. Last year at this time, a senior at the top of my graduating class, going anywhere outside of college, let alone another country, was out of the question. I wanted to get out of Alaska. I wanted to have new experiences, meet new people, and learn how I could contribute to the world. To me, this ideal future had one label: Get into a University.

And so I applied, I stressed, I scholarshipped, I waited, I angsted, and was finally accepted. Then, I made what I thought was the hardest decision of my life, and enrolled at Lewis and Clark college.

It was about this time that I started thinking about the reality of what I was doing. I love learning, but my senior year was certainly exhausting; did I really want to jump into more studies? I worked diligently over the summer, aware that Lewis and Clark is not economically the easiest choice. Was I ready to give up every break to working to pay for school? I read quotes from my religion, the Baha'i Faith, on the importance of spending a year of my life devoted to service to humanity.

I think it was the quotes that finally did it. And I thought, college will always be there, but right now I am between stages in my life, and can take this opportunity to promote the best interests of the peoples and kindreds of the earth! And I sent in my deferral form, and emailed several countries in South America about giving service there. And a Baha'i school in Ecuador replied, saying they accept volunteer English teachers.

A visa, two suitcases, and lots of hugs later, I was on my way. I was no stranger to travel, having gone to Europe the summer before with a friend, and having lived in Athens, Greece for two years with my family.  This, however, was a big step for independence and took a lot of courage.  I remember groggily walking out of the airport after 24 hours of travel, listening to a then-incomprehensible babble of Spanish and saying a prayer that I would be able to cope with whatever I’d gotten myself into.

That was three months ago, and I love it here. In the short space of three months, I have gained a myriad of aprendizajes. How to cook French fries, disciplining children without being “mean”, and a fluency in Spanish I’d never get in a classroom are certainly things that will help me in life.

Apart from what I’ve learned is the feeling of fulfilment I get from serving. Baha’u’llah, the founder of the Baha'i Faith, said, ““Blessed is he and happy is he that ariseth to promote the best interests of the peoples and kindreds of the earth.” * Sure, I get home from classes, and I’m frustrated with my students and especially my own abilities as a teacher, but when I take a step back from my day-to-day challenges, I truly feel blessed and happy. Service fulfils a spiritual need that I believe we all have, to give and make a positive difference in the world.

Taking a “year off” and coming here was the best decision I’ve made in my life.

Now, I’m thinking about other decisions. One certain effect this year will have for my future is my dedication to service, not only this year, but integrated throughout my life. This realization has led me to meditate on other decisions. I’m thinking about college, and how I want to be able to remain active in the Baha'i community during school. I’m thinking about the dedication of the students here, and I’m thinking about what career I want to pursue, and I’m thinking about how I want to spend my summers in the upcoming 4 years, and…I’m thinking.  I’m praying, too. Because if there’s one thing I know, its that God knows his plan for me, and by praying, maybe I can figure out my plan for me too.

*Gleanings of the Writings of Baha’u’llah

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So that’s that. And there’s another quote I wanted to share with  you. I came across it when skyping with Emily,  and I really like it:

Service to humanity is service to God. Let the love and light of the Kingdom radiate through you until all who look upon you shall be illumined by its reflection. Be as stars, brilliant and sparkling in the loftiness of their heavenly station.

-`Abdu'l-Baha: Promulgation of Universal Peace